Even If
by rosexpetals
Summary: Riain story, loosely based on the song Even If by Ella Eyre, hope you enjoy :)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Rita's body shivered as she walked back into the warm ED after taking a five minute break from the mad rush of her shift. It was middle of autumn and there was a cold breeze in the air. Her hands ran through her short hair as she tried to flatten down the strands that were sticking up all over the place. She walked through the entrance to the ED and passed Noel at reception. As she turned the corner to go to cubicles she bumped into a tall, handsome man dressed all in green.

"Rita! Just the person I was looking for," The man spook with a thick northern accent folding his arms.

"Really? How come?" Rita looked up at him smiling; raising an eyebrow.

"Well me and Dixie are having a few drinks after work, you know," Iain looked down at his shoes; taking a deep breath he looked back up at Rita. "In memory of Jeff."

Rita's smile dropped at the mention of his name. "I'll have to see, I'll let you know later," She nodded. "Can't believe it's been a year already! How's Dixie?" Rita's face full of concern.

"She's seems to be coping but it's going to be a difficult day."

"I bet. Just don't be too harsh on her today, okay?"

"You should be telling her that, not me!" Iain winked cheekily.

"Yeh that's true," Rita chuckled. "I best be getting back to work."

"Okay, see you later." Iain patted her on the shoulder which sent shivers all over her body; smiling to herself she made her way back to cubicles. Iain watched her as she walked away from him, admiring how her scrubs fitted her in all the right places. Smirking, he too made his way back to work.

Iain marched his way in to the ambulance station with a big, childish grin on his. Dixie popped her head from out of the back of one of the ambulances when she heard his footsteps. She looked at him, confused.

"What's got into you?" She asked, jumping out of the vehicle and followed Iain into the kitchen.

Iain picked up the coffee jar and turned around to face Dixie, "Coffee?"

"Yes please," she nodded, folding her arms. Iain turned back and spooned the coffee into two mugs. "But you haven't answered my question?"

"Two sugars?" He asked.

"Iain?!"

"Do you ever want something to happen really badly and you're so close yet so far." Iain eventually replied.

"What do you mean by that?" She questioned.

"There's this woman." Iain paused thinking about what he was going to say next.

Dixie just rolled her eyes, "I should've guessed. Go on."

"Well, I really like her and I'm pretty sure she likes me."

Dixie chuckled, "Ooh…someone's getting a bit big-headed."

"Oh shut up, you wanted to know!" Iain shook his head.

"Sorry." Dixie put her hands up in the air.

"Anyway," Iain paused. "How do I make the first move?"

"Iain Dean, Holby's answer to 'Casanova' is asking _me_ on relationship advice?" Dixie joked.

"I want a relationship, not something that lasts five seconds. I really like her Dix." Iain's face started turning a shade of red.

"Ahw, is Iain in love?" Dixie teased him, poking his arm. "Who is this lucky lady?"

Iain was opened to say something but was interrupted by a small, blonde woman standing in the doorway. He cleared his throat and walked over to her.

"And what brings you here?" He winked causing Rita to blush.

"I just wanted to say that I'm free for those drinks later." She replied awkwardly.

"You know you could've texted me, right?" He laughed.

"Oh yeh." Rita's cheeks turned a deeper colour of red. Her eyes wandered over to Dixie who was sat at the table watching the pair. "Dixie, how are you feeling?"

"I've been better." Dixie smiled faintly.

"I'm always here you know that." Rita said softly, Dixie nodded appreciating the offer. Rita looked back up to Iain. "I'll see you later then."

Rita made her way out of the station and back up to the ED feeling very embarrassed. Iain looked back at Dixie who had a big grin spread across her face.

"Rita and Iain; Iain and Rita; Riain; It sort of works." Dixie chuckled.

"Oh shut up." Iain left Dixie in the kitchen but couldn't stop himself from smiling at how their names sounded together. _Rita and Iain._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Rays of light shone through the windows of the dimly lit pub. Most of the staff had gathered in there in memory of Jeff. Rita was sat at a table with Alicia, Lily and Louise. The three girls were excitedly filling Rita in on the young, handsome banker they were treating earlier today. Rita tried listening to them but she couldn't stop herself from glancing over at Iain who was sat at a different table. Every now and then they would catch each other's gaze and every time it felt like stars exploding at the bottom of Rita's stomach. Not wanting to look creepy she would turn her head back to the conversation but the temptation to look back was too strong; especially now that she could feel his eyes burning into her. Rita peered down at the almost empty glass of wine that stood on the table. Chucking back the rest of the contents she jumped up from her seat and made her way over to the bar.

Iain watched her as she walked over and leant her perfect body on the board of wood that held the bar up. He felt his heart rate increasing from just looking at her; she made his insides feel like jelly. Taking another gulp from his glass, he took a deep breath and joined her. They stood very close; their bodies almost touching. Iain had no idea what to say to her so he just looked at her with a big smirk on his face. A look of confusion washed over Rita's face but she didn't want to be rude, so smiled back at him. She looked into his green eyes trying to read the expression he was giving off and what he was trying to say to her. Once she felt a faint hand on her lower she knew exactly what he wanted.

Laughing, she looked down at her drink then back up at him again, "I'm not sure that would be the best idea."

"It is an idea though, innit?" he winked cheekily. "You've got to admit that."

Rita's smile dropped when she realised he was being serious. She looked at him with glint of excitement and passion in her eyes before giving him a small nod and heading for the doors. Rushing, Iain grabbed his coat and pulled in on quickly then followed Rita outside. Once he got outside, he walked very closely behind her until they reached the corner where they would be out of sight from everyone else. Rita took a quick glance to check if anyone was there. Happy that she couldn't see anyone she recognised, she rested her body up against the wall. She stared back at Iain who was now closing the distance between them. Their faces almost touching. Her hands tugged at the edges of his coat. Her breath hitched as she felt his stubble brush across the surface of her soft skin. Closing her eyes, she felt his lips crash onto hers; the pounding in her chest became more rapid and there was a fire burning in her stomach. The adrenaline pumped around her body as she felt his tongue tracing her bottom lip. Letting him in, her right hand wandered to the back of his neck where she ran her fingers through his brown hair. Iain copied her movements and let his hand travel from her waist to the back of her head. Both pulling each other closer with passion, they deepened the kiss.

They both pulled away after what felt like forever; both out of breath and in a daze they stared into each other's eyes, smiling. Iain rested his forehead on hers before leaning down and placing a chaste kiss on her freshly bruised lips. Rita reached up to Iain's ear and whispered, "Who's going to order the taxi?"

Rita fumbled in her bag for the keys to her house which was proven harder with Iain placing kisses all over neck. After searching for a while she finally found them and was turning the lock to go in. Spinning round to face Iain she dragged him by the lapel of his coat into the house. Once they heard the door click shut Iain ripped off his coat and chucked it to the floor; kicking off his shoes which made a loud thud on the wooden floor. Rita mirrored his actions taking her blazer and her heels off which made her even smaller. He reached out his arm and pulled her by the waist towards him. He used his spare hand to move the strands of hair that were in her eyes. Resting the palm of his hand on her cheek he leaned down and placed his lips on hers. He drew away from her.

"Are you sure you want to?" Iain asked softly.

Rita nodded not wanting to waste any more time, her hand went to the back of his neck and she reached up crashing her lips onto his taking his breath away. Her hands fell from his neck to the top of his shirt which she now started to unbutton revealing the hard muscles underneath. She traced the lines with the tip of her finger making him shiver. Pulling away from him she walked up the stairs and into her bedroom. He followed closely behind and shut her door behind him. Rita stood by the edge of the bed; waiting for him. Iain walked over to her slowly and grabbed the bottom of her t-shirt pulling it over her head showing off her black bra and perfect curves. He bit his lip admiring how perfect she looked. She slipped out of her trousers revealing her matching underwear. Rita pecked on the cheek before running to the other side of the bed and clambering in. Iain laughed as he took his trousers off and joined her underneath the covers. Their bodies entwined together.

After their night of passion Rita and Iain lay together, a thin layer of sweat covering their bodies. Rita's head rested on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. Iain's arm was hugging her waist. They were both wide awake and staring into the darkness that filled the room.

"I've wanted to do that for so long." Iain spoke softly, chuckling to himself.

"Excuse me?" Rita questioned him, confused.

"I've always wanted to kiss you." Iain smiled to himself. "Never found the right time."

"But you did tonight. Why?"

"Because you kept on staring at me and I thought that the only reason you would keep on staring at me is because you felt the same way."

"That's because I did." Rita felt Iain's grip on her waist tighten with happiness.

"So what happens now?"

Rita turned her head to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"What happens between us now?" He asked.

Rita shrugged, "I don't know, I suppose we'll have to wait and see." She placed a chaste kiss on his chest.

"Sounds like a good idea."

Iain closed his eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep. Rita still lay there wide awake, she couldn't shake the thought that what happened tonight was wrong however much she fancied him; and however much he made her feel giddy. There was something deep down that was eating away at her, telling her that tonight was a huge mistake. She eventually drifted off to sleep but that didn't stop her thoughts swirling around in her mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Rita's eyes slowly opened to the light filling the unfamiliar room that she now lay in. She rolled her body over to be met with a muscular figure. She couldn't see his face due to the fact he had his back towards her. But, judging by his short, dark, scruffy hair she knew who it was.

"Shit," she said under her breath, flinging her head back down onto the pillow. The more her brain started to wake up the more the memories from last night became clearer; leaning up against the wall, his lips massaging with hers. Then she remembered how it made her feel; tiny little sparks firing up inside her; her adrenaline pumping around the body; her heart bursting out of her chest.

She snapped back to life as she felt the body next to her stir. Iain opened his eyes, a look of confusion washed over him before his gaze met with Rita's. A big grin grew across his face.

"Good morning," he spoke. His deep, raspy voice sent shivers down Rita's spine. "I don't know about you but I had this wonderful dream where I kissed you and then we came back here..." Iain winked. He could feel Rita rolling her eyes into the back of her skull. Taking her by surprise, he pulled her by the waist towards him and turned so that he was on top of her. Rita's hands rested on his hard shoulders, her eyes flicking between his lips and his eyes. Iain leaned his head down, their faces almost touching. Both closing their eyes, their lips met.

At work they didn't see each other that much. They would exchange looks when Iain had to bring a patient in but that was it. When Rita was on her lunch she made her way down to the ambulance stations in the hope that Iain was on his break too. She walked into the kitchen area to find Dixie and Iain having a good gossip about something. Iain stopped talking when he seen Rita standing in the doorway, Dixie turned wondering why he'd stopped.

"Hiya chick," Dixie called out, beckoning Rita in to sit with them. She shook her head.

"All right? I only need to speak to Iain," her eyes widened as she looked at him. "In private."

"Oh right okay," he nodded following Rita outside. "What's wrong?" Iain folded his arms.

"Listen, about last night," a cold wind blew causing Rita to shiver; goosebumps started to appear on the surface of her skin. Iain noticed and took his jacket, handing it to her.

"Here put this on, it'll keep you warm."

Rita couldn't help but smile at his sweet gesture. She came here to tell him that last night was a big mistake and it shouldn't have happened. But her mind was changing, why was it a mistake? She thought to herself. Iain is a lovely guy, why shouldn't she be happy? There has always been something about Iain that appealed to her, not just his looks but his personality, the way he cares about other people and how he will put himself in dangerous situations just to save someone else.

She pulled on his green jacket but it was way too big for her, and she was almost drowning in it. Iain chuckled to himself. Rita looked back up at him, with a twinkle in her eye.

"What?" She asked him.

"You. You just look really cute," Iain bit his lip.

A blush crept up on Rita's cheek. He ran his fingers along the edges of the jacket tugging her softly. She found herself resting her hands on his chest. Her mind was saying no but her heart was saying yes. Iain leaned down and placed his lips on Rita's. All those feelings that she felt last night and this morning; the whoosh of excitement and the rush of adrenaline all came back to her. She felt right with Iain. She felt safe. She didn't want it to end. He pulled away and looked longingly into her eyes.

"What about last night?" He asked.

She smiled to herself as she made her mind up. "It doesn't matter, I think I found the answer."

"And that would be?" He winked.

"I want to be with you," Rita paused. "Properly, I want us to be a couple."

Iain tried to bite back the smile that beamed across his face. Pulling her in for a hug, he held her tightly, not wanting to let go. Her head rested on his chest. Iain kissed the top of her head, taking in the sweet smell of her soft hair. His eyes glanced over to see Dixie leaning up against the wall watching the pair. A crackling noise came from the radio on his belt.

"Major RTC on the M4." Dixie was already making her way to the ambulance.

He let go of his grasp on Rita and unclipped the radio from his belt.

"3006 to control, received and on our way, over." Iain responded. He looked back at Rita who was looking at him with her soft brown eyes. She took his coat off and handed it back to him.

"Just be safe, okay?" Rita pleaded.

Iain took his hand and moved a strand of her hair out of her face. Leaning down he locked his lips with hers. He broke away and made his way into the ambulance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Iain and Dixie pulled up at the crash-site. They could that two cars had collided head on and the outcome wasn't pretty. Rushing out of the ambulance, Iain ran over to the first car, ignoring the people telling him that it wasn't safe. He had a duty as a paramedic and he had to fulfil it. His eyes focused on a young girl with big brown eyes and long brown hair; she had blood all down her face and her leg appeared to be trapped. Without thinking Iain fell straight to her side and began checking her over.

"All right sweetheart, my name's Iain," he let out a sigh of relief when a faint groan. "I'm going to help you. But first, can you tell me your name and how old you are?"

"L…L…Lu…Lucy," the girl stuttered. "I'm ten."

"Okay Lucy, I'm going to give you this magic gas and it's going to make you feel a lot better. What I need you to do is breathe deeply and slowly so that it travels to your lungs, do you think you could do that for me?" The little girl nodded, Iain gave her a faint smile before fitting the oxygen mask to her mouth. He stood up to go find Dixie but stopped when he heard the girl let out a faint cry. "Dix," he called out beckoning Dixie to come over to him. She made her way over to him.

"Right what have we got?" She asked.

"This is Lucy, she is ten years old. Her leg appears to be trapped. Do you want to start her off with 5ml of morphine?"

Dixie nodded, "Sure, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to treat the minors. I don't think I can face," he paused, taking in a deep breath. "This."

"Okay, that's fine you go." Dixie reassured him.

Time was ticking away, the fire service were trying to remove as much rubble to free the small girl but the longer they took the quicker the whole thing would blow up. One noticed gas dripping from the bottom of the car.

"We need to get a move on lads, this could blow any minute."

Iain finished treating all the minors. He turned back to the collided cars to see the crew backing away from the car but no little girl was in sight. He walked over to Dixie, bemused.

"What's going on?" He asked; a hint of anger in his voice.

"They think that the car is going to blow in a couple of minutes, they don't want to risk it. Especially after…" Dixie paused.

"What and they are just going to leave a 10 year old kid to burn to death?" Iain's accent became stronger the angrier he got. "I'm not having this."

Iain ran straight to the car. He could hear Dixie shouting his name in the distance. He grabbed the back of Lucy's leg trying to feel wear it was damaged. It didn't feel too bad.

"Okay Lucy, after 3 I'm going to pull your leg out. Now I know it's going to hurt a lot but I know that you are a very brave little girl."

Lucy nodded drifting in and out of consciousness.

"1…2…3," Iain pulled her leg out from under the seat, the girl screamed at the top of her lungs. Iain scooped her up and walked away from the car. He had only got a couple of metres away from the car when he felt his body being forced onto the ground.

Back at the hospital, the staff were rushing around organising everyone to their stations. Charlie, Connie and Rita waited in reception to deal with the major traumas. The doors crashed open, a little girl lay on the trolley and was followed by Dixie and Norman. But, no sign of Iain. Rita could hear Dixie informing Connie and Charlie on the details, "This is Lucy, age 10…" their voices trailed off. Knowing that she wasn't needed Rita walked quickly outside to see if she could find him. She let out a sigh of relief when she seen him sitting in the back of the ambulance.

"Iain, oh my gosh." She sat down next to him. "Are you okay?"

"They were going to leave her," Iain stared into the distance.

"What do you mean?" Rita asked, confused.

"That little girl they brought in on the trolley, Lucy. They were going to leave her under that car." Iain could feel the tears pricking in his eyes.

Rita had nothing to say, instead she hugged him tightly. After a couple of minutes, Iain pulled away. His eyes were red and puffy from where he had been crying. Rita wiped away the tears with her thumb. Then she noticed he had a cut on his forehead.

"You should get that checked out," Rita said whilst inspecting it. "It might need stitches."

Iain shook his head. "I don't want to make a fuss."

Rita stood up and pulled him up by the hand. "You won't be, it will only take five minutes. Come on."

Iain followed Rita into one of the cubicles. She cleaned the wound and applied five paper stitches.

"All done," She smiled. "How about you come back to mine tonight? We can stick on a DVD. Eat ice-cream until we feel sick and just… just relax."

"It sounds like a lovely offer but I could do with being on my own tonight."

"I wasn't asking you, I was telling you. I'm not leaving you on your own. Not after your day."

"You can be quite demanding Nurse Freeman." He winked.

"Just doing my job," She smirked.

Iain wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He leaned his face into hers and placed his dry lips on hers. Rita's hands worked their way to the back of his neck, tugging him closer and deepening the kiss. They heard high-heels clicking on the floor in the distance. Panicking, Rita broke away from him and fumbled in her pocket for her small torch. She shined it into his eyes just as Zoe swiped the curtains across.

A look of confusion brushed over her as she studied the pair before her. "Oh, sorry. Wrong cubicle."

"We're just finishing off." Rita smiled back at her. Both Rita and Iain made their way out of the cubicle, trying to fight back the giggles. Zoe was left standing there completely bemused.

At the end of their shift Rita waited outside the ED for Iain. She couldn't help but smile when she seen him walking over to her.

"Ready?" She asked.

"Yeh, there's just something I need to do first." Iain walked into the building, closely followed by Rita. He jumped into the lift and went to the children's ward.

"What are we doing here?" Rita asked.

"I need to see if Lucy is okay."

After asking at reception they finally found her but they were surprised when they found Dixie sitting at her bedside. The girl was bawling her eyes out; Dixie had her arm around her. Dixie looked up to see Rita and Iain watching her. She whispered something to Lucy before leaving her to talk to the pair.

"What's happened?" Iain asked, concerned.

Dixie shook her head. "Her mum didn't make it. I don't even know how I can help her, she hasn't got anyone else." She felt a hand grip on to her shoulder.

"I know exactly how you can help," Rita said softly.

"How?" Dixie questioned her.

"Be what you've always wanted to be. Be a mother to her." Rita smiled. "This is your opportunity take it."

Dixie furrowed her brows; then she started nodding. "I'm going to do it. As soon as she falls asleep I'll phone them, I'll tell them the situation. They can hardly say no?" She paused for a moment. "Thank you; I don't know what I'd do without you guys." She gave them both a big hug before joining Lucy again.

"I think we should go." Rita entwined her hand with Iain's; her head rested on his shoulder as they left the ward and made their way back home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 _A couple of months later…_

Iain's and Rita's relationship had been going quite well. Dixie was finalising the adoption and it wouldn't be long until Lucy could live with her full time.

Iain woke up to an empty bed, he let out a sigh. He hoped that he could've spent a few moments with Rita that morning before she had to rush off to work. Iain felt that he was finally ready to make a commitment to her. Pulling back the covers he jumped out of bed and made his way into the shower. Letting the warm droplets hit his face he thought about how he was going to ask her. They hadn't been together that long but he knew that even if he asked now they could still wait a couple of years. They didn't have to rush anything. He just wanted to show Rita that he wanted to be with her and he meant it. Stepping out of the shower he got changed and looked at himself in the long mirror that stood against the wall. He hadn't bought a ring yet but he had all day and he supposed he could sneak off at lunchtime.

"Rita," he let out a deep breath. "Will you? No. I feel that now is the right time. No. Iain just wing it. She has to say yes. Why wouldn't she?" Chuckling to himself he picked up his keys and left the house and walked to work.

As he wandered in to the ambulance station Dixie looked back at him confused as to why he was looking so nervous.

"What's up with you?" She asked following him into the locker room.

"Nothing," he replied sharply.

"That's not like you what's wrong?" She pestered.

"I'm thinking of proposing to Rita." He spoke quickly.

"Marriage?" Her eyes widened. "Are you sure you're ready?"

"What do you mean by that?" He snapped.

"Well, you haven't been together that long and from my experience marriage is a lot more than just sticking a ring on your finger. It's a big commitment."

"I know but there's something about her, I can't lose her."

"You haven't been together that long," Dixie barked.

"But it feels right. I can't explain it."

"As long as you're sure, go for it," Dixie smiled weakly. "Have you got her a ring?"

Iain took in a deep breath, "Not yet, I was hoping you might let me sneak off at lunchtime?" He winked.

Dixie just rolled her eyes, "Just don't be too long." She warned.

"Thank you Dix, it means a lot having your support," Iain gave Dixie a cheesy grin before leaving to go make himself a cuppa. Dixie looked down at the floor; she had a feeling that Rita wasn't going to give him the answer that he wanted.

Back up in the ED Rita had her head down getting all the paperwork done. She didn't have to be in early but she wanted to avoid having a conversation with Iain. She liked him a lot but she didn't want their relationship to get too serious in case things ended badly. Just like last time. Her thoughts were interrupted by a small tap on her office door. She felt her stomach drop as she seen that it was Iain standing in the doorway.

"Iain, what are you doing here?" Rita asked, surprised.

"Just came to see why you rushed off so early this morning. You're shift doesn't start until an hour."

"I need to get through this paperwork, I keep putting it off." Rita lied.

"Are you sure that's it?"

Rita nodded, "Yes."

"Right so it's nothing I've done?" Iain questioned her.

"No, why would it be?"

"You just seem really distant lately; you know if there is anything wrong you can talk to me."

"There is nothing wrong," Rita made her way over to Iain and took hold of his hand squeezing it gently. "Get back to work." She placed a chaste kiss on the back of his hand.

"See you later," he pecked on the cheek and started making his way out of the ED. Rita was about to close her office door but then she heard her name being called. She looked out to see that it was Iain; just as she had thought. She walked over to where he was stood.

"What?" She folded her arms.

"I forgot to ask, me and you dinner tonight?" He winked.

Rita hesitated for a moment, she wanted to have one night away from Iain but looking into his green eyes, how could she say no? "Sure," she smiled.

"Pick you up at nine?" He asked.

"Of course,"

"Oh and one more thing,"

"Wh…" Rita was interrupted by Iain's lips crashing onto hers. She was completely taken aback. She pulled away from him. "What was that for?"

"You'll find out soon enough," Iain burst through the doors leaving Rita standing there completely confused.

Lunchtime approached quicker than Iain had thought. Dixie let him leave a little bit earlier to go buy a ring; she knew that he would take a long time for him to choose. But much to her surprise he already had his heart set on one that he'd seen a while ago and luckily for him they still had it there. When he got back, Iain wandered into the ambulance station with the small box in his left hand and a big cheesy grin on his face.

"Ooh let's have a look," Dixie let out.

Iain opened up the box to reveal a shimmering jewel. Dixie took in a short, sharp breath.

"Aw it's beautiful. She'll love it," Dixie smiled.

"Well, we'll find out now," Iain grinned back.

"You what?"

"I'm going to ask her now."

"But I thought you were taking her out for dinner?" Dixie asked.

"I can't wait that long! If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it now." Iain had already started to make his way up to the ED.

"Well wait for me!" Dixie shouted running up behind him.

Iain and Dixie hurried their way up to the ED not wanting to waste time. When they got there they went straight to the staff room but Rita wasn't to be found. They started asking round but nobody had seen her. They went to the reception, Iain felt disappointed and he was ready to make his way back downstairs but then he seen her coming out of the bathroom. Iain rushed over to her; Rita was very confused.

"What's happened?" Rita studied him, his eyes twinkling in the light. "What is it? What's wrong?"

Iain took Rita's hand and led her to where she would be in sight of everyone.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

Iain bent down on one knee and Rita could feel the embarrassment creeping up on her. Thoughts started racing through her mind, none of them positive. _What is he doing? Why is he doing this to me? I can't do this. It will all end badly just like it did last time. What do I do? No. I'm not ready. We haven't even been together that long. Why is he asking me now? I can't._ She felt the world spinning around her, getting faster and faster as the seconds ticked by. Then she heard his voice. She looked down at him again.

"Rita," Iain paused. "Will you marry me?"

Rita's eyes darted around at all the people who were now staring at her with glee in their eyes. She felt sick. Then she started shaking her head.

"I can't," she let the words fall from her mouth; tears pricking in her eyes. Her throat felt dry. "I'm sorry."

She felt like she couldn't breathe; her chest feeling even tighter, she turned and pushed her through the small crowd and into her office. She locked the door behind her but she couldn't stop the cries escaping.


	6. Chapter 6

**In response to the guest who reviewed, yes I do have twitter it's beautyofthend**

 **Chapter 6**

Iain was left kneeling on the floor in the middle of reception. A wave of disappointment and embarrassment washed over him as he looked round at all the people staring down at him. He felt a hand grip onto his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry pal," Dixie whispered softly. "Do you want me to speak to her?"

"No," Iain snapped. He pulled himself up from the floor and made his way to her office. He knocked on the door gently but there was no response. He pushed the handle down and opened the door to find Rita sitting at her desk with her head in her hands.

"Rita," he whispered.

She shot a look at him, "I don't want to have this conversation now; can't we wait unti…"

Rita was cut off by Iain's voice, "What and are we just going to keep putting it off? No. We are having this conversation now Rita because I need to know what happened. I thought we were good together. I thought we worked. You were happy."

Rita shook her head, the tears falling down her cheeks again, "I can't. I'm so sorry. I really like you Iain, I really do. I haven't liked someone this much since…well…since Mark."

"So why did you say no?"

"Because I'm scared."

"What do you mean you're scared? I'm not going to hurt you."

"You don't know that. In a couple of years' time we could be really unhappy and I don't want that," Rita took a deep breath. "I'm sorry but I can't be with you."

Iain took hold of Rita's hands and squeezed them tightly.

"We can try; whatever it takes. I promise to make you happy and to never hurt because I…I am in love with you Rita and I don't think I'm going to cope without you in my life."

"We haven't been together that long, how can you say you love me?"

"Because I know that these feelings I get in the pit of my stomach whenever I see you are real and they are telling me that I love you Rita Freeman." Iain let go of her hands and cupped her face, leaning his forehead on hers. He had tears streaming down his face.

She shook her head again, "I'm sorry but I don't love you." She lied. She did love him. She loved that he waits for her after work so they can walk home together. She loves that he waits until she is asleep before he goes to sleep. She loves the way he makes every kiss they share passionate as if it is their last. But most of all she loved him. Rita took hold of his hands and pulled them away from her cheeks. "Please don't make this any harder." She straightened her scrubs and made her way outside to go help Connie with a patient. She could hear Iain calling her name but she chose to ignore it.

Iain walked back into the ambulance station a feeling of anger surging through him. Dixie was startled when she heard him throwing some boxes around. She ran out of the kitchen and over to him.

"Iain mate you need to calm down," She shouted over the noise.

"Calm down?" He snapped. "The woman I love just turned me down and told me that she doesn't love me and you're telling me to calm down? Are you out of your mind?"

"All right I know that it must be hard and you want to shout at everyone but please. Not here. Go home."

"You what?"

"You heard me," Dixie replied sternly. "Go home."

"I don't believe this," Iain stormed off to get his clothes. On his way back he was faced by Dixie again.

"What did she say?" She asked.

"So now you want to know?" Iain answered sarcastically. "Sorry Dix got to go; my boss has told me to go home."

"Fine. Be like that, I'm only trying to help."

Iain looked down at his shoes, trying to hold back his tears. "She told me she was scared," he started. "And that she wasn't ready and she doesn't love me."

"I'm sure that isn't true." Dixie responded.

"Well it seemed pretty clear to me," Iain sighed.

"Do you want me to speak to her?"

"No leave her alone, she deserves to be alone."

"Right Iain I know you're hurt but that's just out of order."

"What and humiliating me in front of everyone isn't? I'm going home." Iain walked out of the station.

He started walking home but changed his mind when he seen the pub. When he walked in it was fairly empty but he knew that as soon as everyone finished at work it would be full.

Iain spent the next couple of hours in there drowning his sorrows. He was finishing pint after pint after pint and by now he could barely walk. That's when all the staff started swarming in. He'd seen Zoe coming in followed by Rita. She glanced over at him but looked back at Zoe not wanting to cause a fuss.

"Can't bear to look at me now?" He called out at her.

She turned to him confused, "What?"

"You embarrassed by me?"

She made her over to him, "Go home Iain, you're drunk."

"No, you have no power over me," he slurred. "Not since you humiliated me in front of everyone." His voice was getting louder and louder and as it did more people turned to watch the pair. "Now it's time for me to embarrass you."

"Iain stop," Rita shouted.

"Oh but the fun is only beginning," Iain was getting closer and closer to her. "Why don't you tell everyone about your husband Rita, what was is it that he done again? Oh yeah, he slept with his pupil because you weren't giving it to him. I don't blame him, I would've done the same but now I've had my lucky escape…"

"Right Iain that's enough," Cal stepped in taking hold of Iain's arm. "I think it's time you went home."

"You want a bit of her? Well you can have her she's nothing but a piece of scum," he spat as both Cal and Ethan pulled him out of the door.

Zoe looked back at Rita who was crying by now; she tried to place a hand on her shoulder but Rita flinched away.

"No," Rita snapped. "I'm just going to go home."

"I can come with you." Zoe offered.

She shook her head, "I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Rita replied sharply. She got outside to find Iain slamming his fist into the wall. Taking a deep breath she went over to him.

"You're going to hurt yourself doing that," She spoke softly.

"Like you care,"

"I do care; I won't stop caring about you."

"Just go away." He replied.

Rita nodded and walked away not wanting to upset him anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys so this is my last chapter, I want to thank you all for your lovely reviews and I hope you enjoy!:)**

 **Chapter 7**

 _A couple of weeks later…_

Dixie and Iain pushed through the doors with a patient on the trolley, Dixie was handing over to Zoe and Charlie this time. As Iain looked over at reception he could see Rita standing there watching them come in with a coffee in her hand. She gave him a faint smile before turning around and entering her office. Rita let out a sigh as the door clicked behind her. She placed the coffee on her desk and pulled out the paperwork she needed to get on with that day but seeing Iain again reminded her of how lonely she has felt over the past couple of weeks. She had been so used to waking up to him lying next to her with a big cheesy grin on face. Then they would walk to work together hand in hand. She would drop him off at the ambulance station then make her way up to the emergency department. They had their little routine but now there was nothing. It had all gone. She missed him, she didn't want to admit it but she did. Even after he said those things about her in the pub, she knew he was hurting and she didn't blame him. She would've done the same. She was thankful for Dixie though. Dixie was always there for her if she needed cheering up, the same night Iain said those things she came round to try and make her laugh. It didn't really work but Rita appreciated her attempt. She knew she made a mistake when she told Iain that she didn't love him because she did. And the more time they spent apart from each other the more those feelings increased. She wanted to hug him again. She wanted to feel his soft lips against hers again. She wanted to feel his stubble scratching against her smooth skin again. She wanted him again. But now it was too late. She had lost him. Maybe forever and she would never forgive herself for letting go of something that had been the best thing that has happened to her in a very long time. Taking another sip of her coffee she tried to shake the thoughts and get on with her work.

As Iain and Dixie were leaving the department, Iain glanced over at her office. Taking a deep breath he looked back at Dixie again.

"Dix," Dixie looked up at him. "I need to speak to you."

"Yeah sure, just wait till we get back though, eh?"

Iain nodded.

When they got back downstairs Dixie made her way in to the kitchen where she started making herself and Iain a cup of coffee. Iain joined her and sat down on one of the stools.

"So what is it?" Dixie asked spooning the coffee into the two mugs.

"Uh, I don't know how to say this," he paused. "I've got a new job."

Dixie dropped the spoon into the mug which chimed on the china. She turned on her heel to face him; she had a confused yet angry expression on her face.

"What?"

"I can't stay here any longer," he shook his head.

"But you can't just leave; what about all your friends?" Dixie hesitated. "What about Rita?"

"Like she cares, she's the reason I can't stay here. I can't see her everyday knowing that I failed her. I never asked her how she felt. I just assumed that she felt the same way as me. How wrong I was. I messed everything up. We were doing so well until I decided to make the biggest mistake and ask her to marry me? Why did I do that? I still love her. When I see her I want to grab hold of her and squeeze her tightly so I won't lose her again. But I can't. Because I screwed it all up. It's my entire fault. I'll never get her back. So that's why I am leaving, to get away from her before I go mad. I don't blame her. I blame myself."

"Where's this new job then? How far away is it?" Dixie questioned him; watching as he paced back and forth.

He stopped and stared back at her, taking a deep breath he spoke, "It's…eh…It's in Scotland. Near my sister."

Dixie took a step back, "But that's hours away."

Iain nodded, "I know." He spoke so quietly you could hardly hear him.

"You're my best friend, what am I going to do without you?" The tears rolled down Dixie's cheeks. "You know, you are the closest thing I had to Jeff, you can't leave."

"I'm sorry, I can't stay here," Iain eyes started to well up too. "Besides, you have Lucy."

"It's not the same though is it?"

"Come here," Iain opened his arms out to let Dixie in for a hug. "I'm still going to be your best mate, you can call me any time and I'll visit you when I can. You can't get rid of me that easily." He chuckled which Dixie joined in with.

"When are you going?" She asked pulling away and looking back up at him.

"This afternoon," he breathed.

"Seriously?" Dixie raised her eyebrow at him.

"Yep," Iain tucked his hands into his pocket.

"You could've warned me! I would've organised a going away party for you."

Iain shook his head, "I didn't want a fuss, besides I only decided for definite this morning."

"What made you decide?" She asked.

"When I saw her today it just made me really miss her. I wake up in the morning and she's not there and feels like this wave of sadness is hitting me. Not seeing her bright smile every day, it kills me. I miss her so much."

"Then speak to her, you might be surprised."

Iain shook his head again, "I can't. Anyway, if she was feeling the same way as me don't you think she would've said something by now?"

"She might be waiting for you to do it?" Dixie suggested.

"No, I know Rita. She would've said something."

"Whatever you say," Dixie replied in disbelief. "Are you going to tell her, or are you going to just disappear?"

"I think it's best if I just go, to be honest. Don't want to make a fuss."

Dixie nodded, "Fair enough," she paused for a moment. "Do you want to finish early so you can pack?"

"That would be great thanks Dix; I'll leave in about an hour?" Iain looked at the time on his watch, "Right those ambulances aren't going to clean themselves." He wiped his eyes and smiled before leaving Dixie alone.

That's when she had an idea; she started looking around the kitchen for a pen and a piece of paper.

Back up in the ED Rita was hard at work and hadn't even had time for a break. Lunchtime was fast approaching and she could feel herself growing fainter and fainter as the hours ticked away. Connie noticed that she hadn't eaten in a couple of hours and when she seen that Rita was staring into the distance as if she was going to pass out she ordered that Rita took a couple of hours off. At first she refused, she needed to work for a distraction from everything else. But Connie wasn't giving in; Rita knew that she wouldn't win against her so she agreed to take a couple of hours off to rest and to eat some food. She grabbed a sandwich and a drink from Honey's shop and went back into her office to put her feet up. She sat down on her chair and took a big bite out of the sandwich. Rita let out a sigh as she looked at all the paperwork that lay on her desk. She hadn't managed to get through any of it; she was too distracted by the thoughts of Iain. Then she noticed a folded piece of paper which sat on top of the piles. She was sure that it wasn't there before. Swallowing the last of her sandwich which was making her feel a whole lot better, she picked up the paper and unfolded it revealing the writing on it.

 _Dear Rita,_

 _I know that we haven't spoken in a couple of weeks but I thought that I should let you know that I will be moving to Scotland to be with my sister. I am truly sorry for everything that I have done and I hope that you will meet someone that will make you happy. I know I failed you but that shouldn't stop you from being happy. I am leaving this afternoon. I love you._

 _Iain x_

Rita's stomach dropped as she read the words over and over again. She couldn't believe what she was reading. Thoughts started racing through her mind. _He can't just leave. I can't let him go. I need to tell him how I feel before it's too late._ She was now thankful for Connie giving her the couple of hours off as she grabbed her coat and ran down to the ambulance station. She could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks as she made her way there.

Unfortunately, Iain had already left to go home and pack. She burst into the kitchen to find Dixie drinking her coffee looking very down, as Rita had suspected.

"Is he being serious?" Rita let out; Dixie looked up at her nodding slowly. "It's all my fault, I should've just told him. But I was confused. I didn't know what I wanted. What time is his train?"

"It's not your fault Rita, you were both confused. It's at three, that's why I let him off early."

"What's the time now?" Rita looked around the room for a clock.

"It's five minutes past two."

Rita started shaking her head, "I'm not going to make it in time, it takes half an hour to get to the train station and then I'll have to find him."

Dixie ran over to her and took hold of her shoulders, "Then you best hurry up."

Rita nodded and dived into her pockets pulling out her car keys, and then she ran all the way up to get into her car.

She drove as fast as she could to get to the train station but the traffic was starting to build up as the time was edging closer to rush hour.

She finally pulled up at the train station at 2:40. Now she had to fight with everyone to get onto the right platform even though she didn't have a ticket so there was no way she was going to get through anything. She tried to tell the man behind the counter that she needed to get onto the platform but he wasn't having any of it. She thought that she had left her purse in work but then remembered that she had to get a sandwich and so she still had some money left in her pocket. It wasn't much but it was enough to get her a ticket so she could pass the barriers. By the time she had got a ticket it was now 2:50. Now she had to find the right platform. She was asking around but no one seemed to know. Then she seen a man dressed in a bright orange fluorescent jacket, hoping that he would have the answers, she approached him.

"Excuse me; do you know which platform it is to go to Scotland?" She asked.

"Your ticket should tell you that Madam," he responded politely.

She let out an annoyed sigh, "Right, the thing is I only got a ticket to get through the barriers. I need to get to the platform where the train for Scotland is because the love of my life is about to make a huge mistake and I need to stop him."

"Well, why didn't you say? The platform for Scotland is; platform number 9."

"Thank you, so much." She hugged the small man and gave him a peck on the cheek before running up the stairs and through the corridors to platform 9. As she got onto the platform she looked at the clock. It read 2:57. She had three minutes to find him. She looked around everywhere trying to see if she could see him. Nothing. In the distance she could hear the train approaching. The pounding in her chest became more apparent and she felt like she couldn't breathe. Her hands were shaking and she could feel the tears falling down her cheeks. As she was nearing the end of the platform, a familiar dark figure standing near the edge was becoming clearer. A smile started to grow across her face

"Iain?" She shouted. The figure that stood not far in front of her didn't flinch at all. Her smile dropped as the tears started flowing again. _Shit, shit, shit._ She watched as the train whizzed past her, blowing her hair everywhere. Feeling disappointed she turned to go make her way back home. Her eyes were pointed down at the floor so she wasn't paying much attention to the people in front of her. Then she heard her name. Surprised she stopped and spun on her heel to face where she had been previously looking. That's when she saw him standing there, confused. She didn't know what came over her but she lunged forward wrapping her arms around his neck taking him by surprise. He dropped his bags and squeezed his arms around her waist. Tears of happiness fell from his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Iain," she whispered.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for," he replied.

"I'm guessing you're not going to Scotland then?" She chuckled pulling away from him but keeping the distance between them close.

"No," he laughed. "How did you know I was going to Scotland?"

"You wrote me a note?" She asked confused.

"Did I?"

Rita started laughing as she realised, "Dixie." They both said in time with each other.

Iain's eyes flickered between Rita's eyes and her lips, leaning down he tilted his head and placed his lips on Rita's. Her memory flashed back to the first time they kissed; leaning up against the wall, his lips massaging with hers. Remembering how it made her feel; tiny little sparks firing up inside her; her adrenaline pumping around the body; her heart bursting out of her chest. Everything was coming back to her and she was reliving the moment. She pulled away from him out of breath.

"I've missed that," she whispered.

"Me too," Iain replied biting his lip. "There's something I need to say to you."

"What is it?"

"I'm sorry. For not listening to you, I should've asked how you were feeling before jumping the gun and asking you to marry me. I'm such an idiot."

"Yes." She smiled sweetly.

"What?" Iain asked, bemused.

"Yes, I'll marry you," a big grin grew across Iain's face as he processed the words that came out of her mouth. He picked her up and spun her around before his lips crashed with hers once again. She pulled away and stared deeply into his green eyes.

"There's something else," she spoke softly.

"What is it?" He questioned.

She shook her head; a smirk on her face, "It can wait until later. But first we need to thank Dixie because without her I wouldn't be here. So come on grab your stuff."

Iain rolled his eyes but did as he was told, he picked the bigger suitcase up and handed the smaller one to Rita. They both had one spare hand left which they entwined together as they made their way out of the train station. On their way to the car they passed the man in the bright orange fluorescent jacket who smiled back at them.

"I see you found him then," he chuckled lightly.

"Yes and thank you for helping me," Rita replied grinning at him.

"No problem, I wish you well for the future," he tipped his hat and got back to work.

"And you," Iain called back, he looked down at Rita and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Let's go home then." He kissed her forehead.

The drive back to the hospital was pretty silent. But it was a comfortable silence. They were both very happy to be back in each other's lives again. Rita pulled up in the car park near the station. She went to go leave but she felt a hand grip onto her leg. She turned to face him and smiled when she seen what he was holding. In his hand was the ring that he bought a couple of weeks ago. It was twinkling in the light.

"Put it on then," Rita giggled holding her hand out to him. Iain gently took hold of it and carefully slid it on to her finger. It fit perfectly. "Right I'll go tell Dixie the good news then?"

"Yeah, I'll join you in a bit, I think it's best if you wind her up a bit first," he winked laughing.

"You are so mean," Rita bit her lip. She pecked Iain on the cheek before clambering out of the car and walking into the station. Dixie was in the back of one of the ambulances cleaning it out. She peered out when she heard her footsteps.

"No luck?" She sighed.

Rita shook her head, "No. I don't know what to do now." She shrugged her shoulders.

Something shiny caught Dixie's eyes, she looked down at Rita's left hand and she seen it. Taking Rita by surprise she grabbed hold of her hand and inspected the ring. "Where is he?" She raised her eyebrows disapprovingly.

"He's coming now," Rita laughed.

"One of these days I'm going to swing for you, you know that!"

Iain sauntered into the station and joined the two women; Dixie slapped him on the arm before giving him a big hug.

"Don't ever do that to me again," she said sternly.

"Well it's thanks to you that I'm here," he winked. "Care to explain?"

Dixie looked back and forth between Rita and Iain who were giving her the exact same look. "I don't think it matters, you're both here now. Coffee?"

"I could kill for one," Iain smiled taking hold of Rita's hand and following Dixie into the kitchen.

They spent the next hour talking about everything that they had missed in those weeks apart. Dixie just smiled, happy that now both of her bestest friends were back on track, thanks to her.

Then Iain remembered Rita was going to tell him something but she never got round to it.

"Rita?" He asked. "What was it that you were going to tell me?"

Rita looked at Dixie then back at Iain as she braced herself for what she was going to say next. She took a deep breath, "Please don't hate me."

"Why would I hate you?" Iain questioned.

"You might not be ready," she laughed nervously. "But, how do you feel about being a dad?"

"What?" A grin spread across Iain's face. "Seriously?"

Rita nodded, "I'm pregnant."

"How long have you known?"

"Two days," Rita bit her lip.

"Congratulations mate," Dixie said taking hold of her hand and squeezing it gently.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Iain asked.

"I was scared," Rita looked down at the floor. Dixie read the signs and left the pair alone. Iain took hold of Rita's hands.

"You've got to stop being scared," Iain spoke softly. "I'm going to support you every step of the way because I love you and I want to make you happy. Okay?" He smiled gently.

Rita nodded, "I love you." She leaned forwards and placed her lips on his.


End file.
